Natalie Hampton, Sanah Jivani, Peyton Klein, and Tori Taylor share one thing in common: They all experienced or witnessed bullying as teens.
As they tried to make sense of what they'd personally endured or watched others live through, the four young women, who didn't know each other, ultimately decided to dedicate their teen years to bullying prevention.
SEE ALSO:The skills that every teen should learn before they ever get a cellphoneAfter taking time to recover from the severe bullying she experienced, Hampton built an app called Sit With Us that helps students find new friends with whom they can share lunch. Jivani, now 21, had been bullied for having a hair loss condition known as alopecia and founded International Natural Day while in high school. Klein noticed how students who spoke English as a second language were excluded and discriminated against, so she launched an after-school program to promote tolerance and friendship called Global Minds Initiative. Taylor, who'd experienced bullying, fought to bring a peer counseling program to her high school.
Bullying often makes victims and bystanders feel helpless, but young people also have the power to help change the culture at their school — just like Hampton, Jivani, Klein and Taylor did.
"There's a lot students can do at the individual level," Susan M. Swearer, Willa Cather professor of educational psychology at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and a researcher with expertise in bullying, said.
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Swearer said that students looking for more information about how to develop an anti-bullying campaign can find tools through inspireED, a website created by the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, and Channel Kindness, a project by the Born This Way Foundation.
You should also listen to the students themselves.
We invited Hampton, Jivani, Klein, and Taylor to talk about how they led their own anti-bullying campaigns and initiatives. Their written responses were edited for clarity and length.
What do you wish you would've known about bullying prevention and being an "upstander" before you launched Sit With Us?
I wish I had known that I was not alone. Through Sit With Us, I have met so many people with similar stories to mine. In one way, it has shown me how widespread the bullying problem is, but more importantly, it has shown me how many people are devoted to solving it. I believe that every school has upstanders like me who are willing to make a positive impact in their communities. Now more than ever, they are vocal and helping to create change.
Hampton promoting Sit With Us at a fair.Credit: Natalie hamptonWhat advice would you give to students who want to pro-actively change their school or peer culture in order to help prevent bullying?
Whatever idea you have, run with it! When I came up with Sit With Us, I was 15 years old, knew absolutely no coding, yet wanted to create a global anti-bullying app. Even though it seemed crazy, I ran with it, and with a lot of hard work and effort, the impossible became possible. Students are often told that they are too young to make a difference. My experiences speaking to students around the country and becoming a Diller Teen Tikkun Olam Award recipient and a UN Outstanding Youth Delegate have shown me that could not be more false. No matter what barriers are in your way, you have the possibility to change the world. Get out there and get started!
What would you describe as Sit With Us' greatest success so far?
To me, our biggest successes are not how many users we have or how many countries we are operating in — it is the individual stories we hear from our users about how the app has impacted their lives. I absolutely love interacting with students through our social channels and hearing about their time at school and how the app is working in their communities. If I can make a positive difference in one person’s life, then all of this will have been worth it.
What advice would you give to people who've experienced bullying and want to do something to change the culture at their school or in their peer group?
Never stop telling your story. I understand that reliving the painful experience of bullying can be difficult, but realize it takes immense courage to tell your story and your story truly does have the capacity to change the world. I truly believe that one of the best ways to overcome adversity is using it as an opportunity to serve others. One of the best ways to change the culture at school is by working with teachers, counselors, and administrators. Partner up with them and pitch acts that encourage kindness and inclusion. I hosted several activities at my school from Anti-Bullying Week, Random Acts of Kindness Week, The International Day of Self Love, etc. Find a group of student leaders who are also passionate about creating a kinder culture and work with them to create real change.
In terms of your peer group, leading by example can have a major impact. When you hear gossip or unkind comments, stand up for your peers. Be kind to everyone around you. Show your peers what it means what it truly means to live intentionally in a culture of kindness. When you have the courage to be kind and stand up for others, it often inspires others to do the same.
Did you have any fears about launching Natural Day? If so, how did you get through those feelings?
Launching Natural Day took a lot of courage. I had many fears. I was worried that other students wouldn't participate. I was scared they may laugh at my idea, or not take it seriously. I was nervous about sharing my personal story in such a public way. I struggled with these thoughts and feelings a lot, and worked to get through them.
I clearly remember planning the very first Natural Day. I was a freshman in high school, and at first, the upperclassmen were very reluctant to participate. I had put signs and posters all around the school advertising the day, and I was getting mixed responses. Some people were excited, others didn't like the idea at all. Either way, not everyone was on board and I received a lot of criticism from, "This idea is dumb and won't make a difference" to "Why does this freshman think she can change the world?" These responses were very discouraging, but I knew I couldn't give up on an idea that I believed in so much. I had to persist, no matter what anyone said.
"I knew I couldn't give up on an idea that I believed in so much."
As the planning process continued, I knew something had to change about how I was advertising the day. I couldn't just tell people to participate in Natural Day. I had to show them what that means. I decided to speak in front of over 3,000 students at my high school and share my story with them. I decided to be vulnerable, and address how much courage it takes to love and accept who you are. After I gave my speech, I got a standing ovation from everyone (even the upperclassmen). It was beautiful to see that courage inspires courage.
I think my biggest advice would be to persist with your idea if you are passionate about it. Realize that not everyone will be on board, but that's okay. I moved forward with my idea with endless amounts of passion. It didn't matter if other people didn't believe in it — I did, and that was more than enough.
Why do you think self-acceptance can make a difference when it comes to bullying prevention?
When you make peace with yourself, you are better able to bring peace to the world. When you are kind to yourself, it is much easier to be kind to others. How can you be compassionate toward others if you are not at all able to show the same compassion toward yourself first? For all of these reasons, I think self-acceptance can truly change the world.
When people bully others, they usually do it because they are struggling with some kind of fear and insecurity inside themselves. I can say this from personal experience. I remember being bullied so badly that at some point I would do anything to fit in. A group of girls in my grade suggested that I might be bullied because I never retaliate. Out of fear and insecurity I decided to draft a few mean messages to send out. Thankfully, I realized how awful this felt. In the moment, I might have felt strong and powerful. However, ultimately, bullying others just leads to more self-hatred. It's a vicious cycle.
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Self-acceptance is a huge key to bullying prevention that we often overlook. If we taught kids early on to love and accept themselves, it would be easier for them to love and accept others.
What do you think has been your greatest success when it comes to bullying prevention?
I am most proud of the bullying prevention work I did at my middle school and high school. I faced severe bullying, and I think I've done a lot to change the culture since then. Everyday I woke up too afraid to go to school. My attendance dropped significantly. When I did attend school, I found mean notes in my locker, gum in my wig, and walked around scared for my own safety. Even though I was terrified of the bullying getting worse, I applied to be the president of my school's anti-bullying organization. I worked with all my heart to bring the organization to life in a way it hadn't been for years.
When I got to high school, I realized there was no anti-bullying organization available for students to join. I created my high school's first anti-bullying organization, which we used as a platform for the first ever Natural Day. The organization still exists years after I've graduated, and both my middle school and high school still celebrate Natural Day. What I went through was painful and difficult, but I am truly grateful I could use it to create safe spaces for others.
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Did you ever feel like it would be too hard to make a difference in your own school community? If so, how did you get over feeling overwhelmed or intimidated?
Yes, of course, I still sometimes feel like it is too hard. When dealing with issues of bullying or intolerance, it is extremely overwhelming because they are problems that span beyond yourself, across generations and millions of students. It is so easy to feel powerless, but what you have to realize is that changing one life is changing someone's world. A little bit of kindness or going the extra mile to help someone can make a big change. Little things like sitting together at lunch or just saying hello are such small things that can make the world a little more welcoming. You have to start with setting an example yourself, which will allow for a domino effect to happen within your community and beyond.
I think the success of Global Minds really showcases the power of what a small dedicated group of students can do. We started Global Minds at my high school, Taylor Allderdice in Pittsburgh, in December of 2016. What started as an idea took off in my school, and just from word of mouth and support we now have 13 chapters (with even more this year!), all dedicated to creating more welcoming and inclusive schools. Good attracts good, so I believe kindness has a ripple effect and by setting an example for your peers, you can make a large-scale change.
How did you build peer and administrator support for the Global Minds Initiative?
When I created Global Minds, it was really important that ESL students were involved in the brainstorming and leadership of the program. At Global Minds, everyone is a part of the family and in order to create that type of atmosphere, it is essential to start with representative leadership. I think by being intentional about our diverse leadership, it has led the way to the authentic engagement of ESL students.
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As far as the administration, I have had a great experience with my teachers and principal, but I know for a lot of schools that is not the case. When students stand up, are engaged global citizens and do good, I find that adult allies typically listen. Truly I think most administrators want what is best for their students and school. So when discussing with administrators I always try to understand where they are coming from. This helps me best address their concerns proactively, which leads to cooperation and success. Developing relationships with adult allies who will support you and your ideas is essential to making change.
What advice would you give to another student who is inspired to create something similar at their school or in their community?
Go for it!! YOU can be the change. Global Minds has truly been the best experience of my life. I have the opportunity to work with superhero educators and student changemakers, who educate me every single day. My grandma has always told me, "Your mind is like a parachute, it only works when it's open." I live by this phrase every day and go into my work with an open mind and heart. I hope you can do the same.
Global Minds has chapters all across the USA and Canada, and we are continuing to expand. If you want to get involved visit www.globalminds.world and start a chapter at your school! It seems like a daunting task, but I promise our team is amazing and we will help you through it. We want to hear from you!!
What prompted you to get involved in bullying prevention?
Hospitalized in psychiatric care at the age of 14 due to my obsessive compulsive disorder, I was exposed to many children and teens dealing with problems from anorexia to drug abuse to depression. Throughout my stay, I encountered many other kids and teens (like me) that had suffered at the hands of bullies throughout their years in America’s compulsory educational institutions.
"I want to let people know that they are not alone, and that happiness is achievable."
From that moment forward, I decided that I would dedicate my life post-recovery to ending the stigma around mental health and to sharing my story in order to help others. I want to let people know that they are not alone, and that happiness is achievable. Rather than letting my past define me or cripple me, I have taken what I have learned and experienced and applied it to my service contributions.
While establishing Peer2Peer, I did not think about my 6th grade bullies whose words hurt worse than any sticks and stones; I was excited for those mentees who may be currently going through similar experiences to finally have a friend.
Why did you decide to focus on peer-to-peer counseling? And why do you think it might help with bullying?
I proposed Peer2Peer, a program that focuses on cross-age peer counseling in which an older student mentors a younger student, to my school’s social worker and guidance counselors. I came to the conclusion that a peer counseling program that emphasized emotional support and academic success would have helped me acclimate to a new, intimidating environment as an underclassmen, and therefore decided I would like to provide the incoming freshmen and sophomores with that sense of security.
DASH Peer2Peer mentors are trained in empathetic listening skills by a social worker, and are instructed on emergency situation response. Acting as a resource and support-system for their assigned mentees, mentors provide advice on academic stress, offer personal insight based on their own high school experience, and most importantly, serve as a friend— a shoulder to cry on when their mentee is in a time of need.
What was the hardest part of getting Peer2Peer off the ground?
The most challenging obstacle I faced in leading this service contribution was Peer2Peer’s initial startup. I spent three months creating an extensive proposal for the program, including impact reports from peer mentoring programs in other states, a strongly worded letter, and signatures from interested students at DASH.
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Ultimately, I chose a trustworthy committee to work with, and together we constructed the intricate application process used in pairing mentors and mentees, communicated with our social worker outside of school on the “Remind” app, made sure our program was functional and sustainable, and got to work.
What do you think has been Peer2Peer's greatest success?
The benefits of Peer2Peer have not only been increased confidence, productivity, and mental wellness for incoming DASH freshmen and sophomores, but for our tight-knit community as a whole. Peer2Peer has allowed mentees to learn more about the school while simultaneously building self-esteem, enhancing self-motivation, and improving academic success. It has also increased DASH’s cultural diversity awareness and improved the campus climate overall. Younger students that would most likely be taunted for their stature or immaturity in other schools are welcomed by their older peers. Mentors gain recognition for service to their mentees at DASH, enjoy the feeling of being useful and supportive, and improve their leadership skills through acting as a support system for younger students.
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If a student is inspired by what Hampton, Jivani, Klein and Taylor have accomplished and wants to launch their own anti-bullying campaign, Swearer recommends first engaging peer and adult allies who will support and guide them through the process. That can mean getting a faculty sponsor, involving the student council, or enlisting well-known school athletes or student leaders. Research shows that having the right people involved, particularly those with social influence, can make anti-bullying campaigns more effective.
Building a team is particularly important when a student's motivation to fight bullying is linked to previous experiences of being bullied or bullying others. What you don't want to happen is for a teen's risk of continued bullying to increase, said Swearer. Garnering support from friends, teachers, and staff may insulate a student from personal attacks.
The message itself matters as well, said Swearer. Her research suggests that negative messages like "don't bully" actually aren't that effective. Instead, she encourages students and schools to focus on positive slogans or catchphrases that emphasize inclusivity, kindness, and bravery. Mental health resources -- for both those who are bullied and those who are bullying -- should be available and talked about as part of a student-led campaign.
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But a successful anti-bullying campaign isn't just about the people or message.
Swearer said that certain basic school values and practices must be in place, including clear guidance from the school about mechanisms for reporting incidents and consequences for bullying.
If a school's administration just isn't interested in working with a teen to develop a new initiative, Swearer said not to be too discouraged.
"If you don’t have group behind you, you could set yourself up for disappointment or failure, and it depends on how much you want to push it," she said. Instead, she recommends looking for opportunities elsewhere, like a church group, the local YMCA, or a community center.
Now matter how you proceed, Swearer said it's critical to remember one thing: You're not alone.
TopicsActivismSocial Good
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